Why no IVF?

A couple of people have asked me why we're not going down the IVF route, which most infertile couples seem to pursue before looking at adoption. There are three reasons we're not doing IVF at the moment (although these may change in the future) - 

1. The invasiveness. In 2003 I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis. I underwent a long operation and then went straight onto Zoladex, a drug that puts you into a menopausal state for 6 months. I had hot flushes, memory lapses, mood swings - the works. NOT FUN. Then straight onto the continuous BCP, then 12 months after TTC naturally I went onto Clomid. I feel like my body is screaming at me "ENOUGH WITH THE MESSING WITH MY HORMONES ALREADY!!!". And when your body uses caps, bold font and three exclamation marks you need to listen. IVF involves massive messing with your hormones as well as a couple of invasive procedures and I feel like I need a good long break from drugs and hormones before I can contemplate either of those things.

2. The cost. IVF is rather like gambling. You pay about $4000, betting that the outcome with be 1 healthy pregnancy & a few good embryos left over for later. If that doesn't work you gamble again (but slightly less money this time) with a frozen embryo transfer. And the temptation is to just keep placing your bets month after month, year after year, credit card after credit card. At the moment we are saving for a number of important things like MB's trip to Europe to audition for opera houses, and a deposit on a home, and money so I can take time off work if we are blessed with children. We're not prepared to gamble on those things.

3. The ethics. MB and I, like many other Christians believe that personhood begins at conception. Right from when the sperm & egg meet to form an embryo is when a human being begins. So to 'dispose' of those people would be wrong for us. During IVF typically around 10 or so eggs are harvested and fertilised, creating around 10 embryos. Two of those are implanted and hopefully one, or two, will 'take' and result in a healthy pregnancy. So potentially we could have 10 children. eeek. Or even more if (like with Octomom) the embryos split to form twins. The alternative to not implanting all 10 embryos is to destroy them, donate them to research or donate them to a couple to adopt. The first two options are ones we could never do and the last would be very difficult as we'd essentially be giving up our child to be raised by other people (who may or may not be Christian). Alternatively you can have your eggs frozen before fertilisation, however this currently has a much lower success rate with thawing. 

So, if I one day feel up to the invasiveness, and we have enough money to do IVF without impacting on our financial security, and technology offers us a better chance of freezing eggs, we will consider IVF.