We’ve failed. I did another test this morning and we’re definitely not pregnant. I cried this morning. I never cry when I get a negative result. It finally hit home that we won’t be doing this the all-natural way. What so many people find easy, and some people don’t even set out to do, we could not do after trying so hard all year.
And so again I find myself vacillating between feeling like a failure and feeling like God has failed me. It is so hard to feel “fearfully and wonderfully made” when something so vital, so natural and so God-given isn’t there, or doesn’t work properly. Of course I know that there are more important things: being Saved and not Lost, being alive, being healthier than so many others. And I am grateful for all this, truly. I just feel overwhelmed and fragile and shattered at the moment and it’s hard to see through that. But this too will pass and I’m sure better days will come.
2 comments:
Oh...so sad...
It is hard to know what to say.
There will always be people you know who have a life more difficult than yours.
There will always be people worse off than you.
But that does not diminish the pain you experience or make it any easier for you.
It is ok to feel sad.
And it is ok to wonder why this is happening to you.
But you do need to keep trusting that the God of the Universe knows exactly what he is doing and that he has a plan for your family.
Keep trusting even when it is difficult because He is worthy of our trust.
I will pray for you to keep holding onto our great God, even in the difficult times.
Big hugs and prayers bonnie :( xx
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